There are few people who really know what they’re getting into when it comes to getting married. We all have an idea of what marriage is all about. We have hopes, dreams and expectations of what it will look like. But we don’t really know until we’re there, do we? Here are some secrets about it form the best matchmaker site Clickdate.
1. MARRIAGE IS MORE INTIMATE THAN SEX
Often, one of the first things singles think about when it comes to marriage is sex. But while there is so much value and closeness within the sexual relationship, a good marriage is what makes for good sex, not the other way around. Marriage is an amazing opportunity to allow another person a look inside your life, your mind, your heart and your very soul. Now that is true intimacy.
2. MARRIAGE REVEALS SELFISHNESS, BUT CAN ALSO CULTIVATE SELFLESSNESS
From the silly moments of choosing where to eat and who gets the remote, to the more significant things like apologizing and putting your spouse’s needs before your own—you learn that true selflessness is something that has to be lived out.
3. ONENESS LITERALLY MEANS ONE
We all think of the deep spiritual and physical benefits of oneness, but we don’t always consider the inconvenient parts of it. One house. One bed. One bathroom. One mirror above the bathroom sink. One bank account. One budget. In marriage, you learn to let go of the “mine and yours” mentality, because everything is truly “ours.” There’s something really hard, but something really beautiful about that.
4. AT SOME POINT, YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED
This one was a hard reality. When you allow someone to bury their heart in yours, there’s no doubt that one day, you will feel an ache. Whether In the form of an unkind word, a thoughtless action or a selfish moment, marriage will hurt. Each wound is a reminder of our need to love better and more deeply.
5. LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU WILL LEARN THE MEANING OF FORGIVENESS
With the certainty of being wounded comes the reality that you will need to learn forgiveness. The biggest lesson is that true forgiveness comes not because the person standing before you is deserving. Rather, it comes out of a heart that understands how much we’ve been forgiven though we, too, were undeserving.
6. MARRIAGE WILL COST YOU
The truth is, you lose a part of yourself within the glory of relationship. You exchange a little bit of who you are for a little bit of who your spouse is. You learn to let go of the things that don’t really matter. And in the end, you realize what you’ve given is far less than what you’ve ultimately received.
7. LOVE ISN’T A FEELING, IT’S A SERIES OF DECISIONS
Before marriage, you can’t really comprehend the strong feelings going anywhere but higher. Then one day you realize that feelings can’t really be trusted, because some days you feel you may not even like each other. Feelings come, but feelings also go. Marriage is constantly choosing to love, to give and to serve because of the commitment you have made. It’s choosing the other instead of choosing yourself.
8. MARRIAGE WILL REQUIRE YOU TO LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE
No matter what your communication bent, marriage will require you to take a good hard look at your opinions, beliefs, ideas and feelings—and share them with another. Communication is the lifeline between two people. There’s no way around it.
9. MARRIAGE IS NOT THE END OF YOUR DESTINATION
Before you’re married, it’s easy to see marriage as the grande finale. It’s the thing we dream of and live for. And then it finally comes! Now what? Your purpose and passions will extend far beyond the reach of your relationship with your spouse. Marriage is not the end, it’s only the beginning.
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