Love is such a powerful human emotion that experts are constantly studying it. They’ve discovered that love has three main qualities:
- Attraction is the chemistry part of love. It’s all about the physical — even sexual — interest that two people have in each other. Attraction is responsible for the desire we feel to kiss and hold the object of our affection. Attraction is also what’s behind the flushed, nervous-but-excited way we feel when that person is near.
- Closeness is the bond that develops when we share thoughts and feelings that we don’t share with anyone else. When you have this feeling of closeness with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you feel supported, cared for, understood, and accepted for who you are. Trust is a big part of this.
- Commitment is the promise or decision to stick by the other person through the ups and downs of the relationship.
Romantic relationship is when attraction and closeness are combined. Lots of relationships grow out of an initial attraction and develop into closeness. It’s also possible for a friendship to move from closeness into attraction as two people realize their relationship is more than “just like” and they have become interested in one another in a romantic way.
For people finding love for the first time, it can be hard to tell the difference between the intense, new feelings of physical attraction and the deeper closeness that goes with being in love.
Love is one of the most fulfilling things we can have in our lives. If romance hasn’t found you yet, don’t worry — there’s plenty of time. And the right person is worth the wait.