Have you always wanted to figure out what is going on in a guy’s mind, in the first few weeks
Guardian Soulmates Dating Tips & Advice – Top dating tips for women seeking men (by a man)
To women, we men can seem like a bit of an enigma. If you call us too often, you’re pushy. If you don’t call us enough, you’re cold. Figuring out what is going on in a guy’s mind in the first few weeks of dating would really help a woman feel more assured, knowing that she is in control of the situation. But exactly how do you find out without asking him outright and getting a look like you’ve just asked him to marry you? How can you turn an awkward first date with the man of your dreams into the relationship you’ve dreamed of? Here are a few tips to get you moving in the right direction.
Never empty your glass – You might be shaking like a leaf and nothing would settle your nerves more than to knock back the glass of wine on your table, but trust me, it’s not worth it. If you want to stay in control of the date and keep him interested then take it easy and don’t overindulge. If your date becomes your boyfriend then there will be plenty of opportunities for both of you to let your hair down. But a guy will most likely be a little scared if you knock back a few shots before dinner.
Think carefully about inviting us back after a first date – Yes, we might well ask you but that doesn’t necessarily mean we want you to say yes. A kiss on your doorstep is enough to reassure us that you are interested but if you invite us in for the night we will start to wonder if this happens to every guy you date. This is a bit of a subconscious thing with men, and although we think we want to spend the night at your place after a first date, in the cold light of the morning after we will be relieved that it didn’t happen.
Forget Facebook – If you want to let your friends know how much you loved that latte on the way to work this morning, or share a photo of the most adorable kitten playing a guitar that’s well and good. But do you really want a guy you just met to see all those old photos you’ve been tagged in? Do you really want him to know why your boss upset you so much today or how much weight you want to lose this year? Retain a bit of mystery and avoid sending him a friend request until you’ve got to know each other better. Speaking of which…
Pay attention to the introductions – We guys are extremely territorial (even though we may not know it) and once we’ve come to the conclusion that this is the woman we want, we’ll start saying things like “This is my girlfriend, Sarah”. Once he has started calling you his girlfriend, babe, woman, or even his other half, he won’t stop. He has laid all his cards on the table without even realising it. Now you know he’s taking this thing seriously and you can probably stop calling it dating and start using the word relationship.
Don’t call him everyday – It may from time to time seem as though the male half of the population hasn’t fully grasped the concept of staying in touch but trust me we know how to call you when you haven’t called us. If you call constantly to “just check in” then the chances are he’ll feel smothered within a week and will lose interest or just assume you are a bit desperate. If you don’t call, he’ll start to panic and think that you have a life that doesn’t revolve around him which leads us to…
Do your own thing – Never make us the centre of your world. Men love doing their own thing, and they love a woman who does her own thing even more. Hang out with your friends, go for a meal with your sister, have drinks after work, and after a certain amount of time you will both start doing many of these things together. Take it slowly and don’t rush into spending every evening with your new man. He will want his own space and really appreciate you if you give it to him.
A final note – Commitment scares the hell out of us. Of course, there are men out there that will disagree but the vast majority of us are scared stiff of the future. A week in advance, or possibly a month, is usually as far as we are willing to commit after a few weeks or even months of dating. But just because we are scared of it doesn’t mean we don’t want it. Take it easy and let him decide when he is ready to commit.
Now you’re armed with these tips you should be feeling a little more confident about embarking on the roller coaster ride that is the dating game but it’s worth remembering (and here’s the twist) that not all guys are the same. A bad relationship you had in the past should stay exactly there, in the past. Give a new guy the chance to prove himself.
So, how many of the above tips will be helpful to you on your next date? Half the fun is finding out, isn’t it?